It takes a VILLAGE, but Where is the VILLAGE?
There is an African saying/proverb that goes like “It takes a VILLAGE to RAISE a CHILD.”
Hillary R Clinton, a former First Lady, Senator, Secretary of State, and Presidential Candidate, is one of the most famous politicians who has recited this very profound African proverb, w/ Africa being the starting point of humanity and cradle of human civilization, and aptly called “THE MOTHERLAND”. You see, I was raised in an Afrocentric household, with a strong, DARK, TALL, RIGHTEOUS, and eloquent Afrocentric Dad, and a highly respectful Mother of mixed ancestry, and my parents might as well have been “God”. I mean, even one look or glance from them reminded meus of what to do or not do… we studied every facial gesture because we respected and loved our parents. And we would not dare to disrespect them. In fact, even before I got married, I nearly disagreed with my mother and my father slapped me. Laughing out loud. It was taboo. PERIOD!
Thus, having arrived in the States in my early teens, I was in SHOCK to see how kids, especially WHITE KIDS, were talking to their parents. I was not just perturbed… I was like how is it even POSSIBLE? Black kids who did not have both parents had another problem, far too many who did not see any other opportunities to get out of the projects resorted to being "ganstas" and "drug dealers"... However, it would be unconscionable to just label them as "SUPER-PREDATORS" as if they were BORN that way ! Such labels prevents us from countering the problem at the SOURCE or from using interventions to prevent them from becoming such characters. No child would want to become a killer at 15 unless his environment made him feel that it is NORMAL and COOL to be a killer at 15. TRUST ME!
Anyhow, I never even once thought about disrespecting my parents or saying “I hate you” to them because the ONLY BOND we had was a BOND of LOVE. And even when they disciplined me, I knew it was done from a place of love. I was nearly a perfect child… but I must say that even as a perfect child, I remember the few childish things that I did, and my father insured that I would never forget those lessons and I love him for that.
Back to Hillary’s use of the “village” proverb. The difference between Hillary Clinton and I is that I do not call White kids who assassinate others, thugs and animals, I simply call them mentally ill human beings instead of "Super-predators". This is because I don't hold any HIDDEN RACIAL ANIMUS or HOLIER THAN THOU view. You see, I have my stereotypes about Whites, but it's not based on HATE. BIG DIFFERENCE. I feel sorry for ANY HUMAN BEINGS who do NOT know GOD, Righteousness, FAIRNESS and PEACE and thus have already lost their souls. I really do.
We’re raising monster babies that are killing our babies. We are not prioritizing mental health in children! We ought to be ashamed of ourselves. YES… we no longer appreciate the importance of a VILLAGE considering that we cannot be around our children ALL THE TIME.
We need to rely on fellow neighbors, and our teachers, and church and recreation folks to keep an eye on them for us and report their behaviors to us. But modernly, many parents chastise those that report their children’s behaviors to them. They see it as an attack on their ability to parent or raise their own children.
Both the RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST and the NON-RELIGIOUS EXTREMISTS are wrong.
Extremism in anything is rarely good…
Religious Extremists – have a “holier than thou” approach that turn our kids off.
Anti-Religion/Spirituality Extremists – are so liberal that they forget to raise their kids altogether.
We need to be in the MIDDLE… We need something to FEAR especially as children, until we understand the substance of the many COMPLEX aspects of life... We need to communicate to the CHILDREN so that they will understand us and that we will also understand them. I don’t believe in corporal punishments, but I never have any arguments with my children… either I make my point, or they make theirs respectfully and lovingly. It should STOP RIGHT THERE!
DISOBEDIENCE or INSUBORDINATION is an integral element of ALL SINS/DISASTERS.
When a person disobeys his/her boss, s/he gets fired usually a detrimental and unnecessary outcome.
When a person disobeys the police, s/he gets a ticket or gets arrested, another detrimental outcome.
However, modernly, when a CHILD disobeys the PARENTS or is flat-out disrespectful nothing really happens. This is where it starts… The DISOBEDIENCE itself is the start of the SIN and the consequences of the Sin are DIRE (e.g., killing others or lifetime incarceration.)
If a parent is a decent and non-abusive parent and wants the best for the child, OBEDIENCE is important and essential. Respect for Authority figures to important. The same child that does not respect the authority of his parent, will not respect the authority of the police and will get arrested, get a record and ruin his life. It is a problem that affect Black families in America in a viscous cycle, w/ father absenteeism opening the door for a young man to act like he is the man of the house when he is still a baby. ONLY to try to do the same with the police and get shot.
So, what is a VILLAGE? And do we even have a VILLAGE TODAY?
A COMMUNITY or SOCIETY at LARGE should be a village.
OUR CHILDREN are our most precious asset. Not our CAREERS… Not our TOYS… OUR BABIES are the closest to being a GOD/CREATOR that we can be as PRO-CREATORS. They carry 23 chromosomes from us. They are 50% US. YET, we drop them at Daycares and After-School Programs all day while both parents chase the Almighty dollar, often unnecessarily, and quite often to selfishly fulfill career goals. Just minimize costs, live in a smaller house, drive a used car, and wear reasonable clothing and spend the time with your children…
TIME is not equal to MONEY
MONEY is inferior to TIME
TIME (especially time spend with your children) is more important than MONEY…
You can have ALL THE MONEY in the WORLD yet run out of TIME health-wise. YOUR MONEY will never be able to buyback YOUR LOST TIME.
Having been a Mr. Mom before, there is no job more fulfilling and rewarding than loving those babies. TRUST ME!
What does RAISING a child consist of?
When is one considered to be a CHILD or CHILDISH?
A child is a human-being who is too young to appreciate the totality of the consequences of his behaviors and thus is not mature enough or has not acquired enough wisdom to know for sure what do to do or what not to do and certainly foresee the consequences of such his or her actions in the right context.
Accordingly, a child is a human-being that needs guidance from not just the parents, but the community/society at large. YUP, we are all part of the VILLAGE.
Some think I call the children BABIES because I love children too much. It is because I understand their worth for us. They are our future yet many of us FAIL to invest enough LOVE, AFFECTION, and TIME to instill WISDOM into the. It is OUR FAULT.
When I was a CHILD, almost any adult or even young adult would supervise the behavior of a child and report to the child’s parents if they were subpar. Nowadays it’s nearly taboo and some parents even scold teachers when they do so.
A child needs LOVE, CORRECTION, MONITORING, and acquisition of the knowledge of RIGHT and WRONG BEHAVIORS and OUTCOMES… that is in essence RAISING a CHILD.
UNFIT parents raise UNFIT CHILDREN. Thus, despite their RIGHTS to raise their children as we see FIT if parents are UNFIT, our laws should allow us to take over their role especially if they are raising CHILDREN that will act as TERRORISTS because of their unfitness to raise QUALITY HUMAN BEINGS. We need to INTERVENE and THWART at the parental level, and we also need to INTERVENE with our laws.
We need FIT parents or adopters to raise our BABIES!
WE HAVE CHOICES – I call them as follows:
2Gs and 2 Vs – God/Guns and Village/Violence.
We not only need a VILLAGE, but we also need a HEALTHY and WISE VILLAGE again.
We not only need GOD, but we need to live a non-extreme, yet a God-fearing life again.
The choice should be CLEAR… and those who fail to appreciate the difference will pay severe consequences like the one we all witnessed in Texas (i.e., an 18-year-old killing more than a dozen ELEMENTARY Babies). If this does not SHOCK our conscience, then we have all become DEPRAVED our selves and are thus doomed!
We Need GOD… and while we can’t SEE GOD, we can see EVIDENCE of God’s presence in our lives by having FAITH in our HEARTs and understanding the PROMISES that God revealed through God’s servants in the scriptures. It is truly transformational. I truly invite you to give GOD a try after this Texas shooting if you haven’t. I know it changed my life. I see EVIDENCE of the UNSEEN daily. Praise the Lord! If you don't feel like having a home church, I invite you to STUDY GOD's SCRIPTURES on FAITH w/ me at www.LorinsFAITH.com
EXCELLENT RESPONSES FROM SOME OF MY READERS:
"something that nobody has yet to mention, in my humble opinion, has to do with all of the satanic and horrific video games that are not only permitted to be made and sold, but that are world oftentimes become addicted to."
Yup, our kids are become ADDICTED to so many bad behaviors while they are losing many of the best behaviors that will make them move loving, human, considerate and yes better parents when they become adults.
The American society is disintegrating. Decades of undermining the importance of family and the indoctrination that's going on in schools, economic hardship, extreme stress ,so many causes that can lead to someone to lose their sanity. I've never heard of such violence in schools until I came to America. I was a high school teacher in Europe for many years and not one case of violence had ever happened.
~ A. Holmes
People don't know how to define mental illness nor do they know the cause because of the superficial answers that are given to them by their resources of information i.e., media, parents, teachers, peers, pastors, and so forth. One possible way to start straightening all the mental illnesses out is to get people back to a point of balance or to provide a place that would work with them and the inferiorities that they exuberate.
I am going out on a limb here because some are turned off if I say a relationship with the Lord God Almighty is one way to come circumspect to balance as well as being truthful as to what really hurts or makes a person go reclusive into themselves. Most people hurt so bad that the grief or remorse is unbearable or so embarrassing that they don't want to share or feel shut out because they feel like they are the only one going through it and nobody can know it.
The local governments are using the local jails to house them that are mentally ill and those who are homeless also. They need a place of their own with a trained psychologist. As well as good rounded clergy.
~ S. Watson
This last and current generation is a group of children with an audacious entitled attitude! I don’t know what happened it’s not even always the parents. ~ N. Jay
It is a societal issue that is a function of a disconnect between them, the parents, and reality. The parents are too busy to bond w/ the kids, who are too busy bonding w/ inanimate objects that deprive them of much needed human emotions and interactions. Therefore, there is a lack of empathy and social skills and a disconnect to reality, societal values or taught parental values.
Some VALUES are TIMELESS... some values shouldn't be TRENDY. Some values are neither Conservative nor Liberal.
I know that a lot of FINANCIALLY POWERFUL WHITE MEN want to keep their guns and it's their Second Amendment Right... but I believe that there needs to be a BALANCE in everything... Had RICH WHITE MEN not cared about carrying GUNS, carrying a GUN would have been outlawed a long time ago... I won't advocate against it, but I will say that we need to see how it affects US all and pass more laws to regulate it instead of being victims of our own CONFIMATION BIAS.
In a Rush!
Dr. Pete Lorins is the Chief Editor of LorinsPOST.com. This article was sponsored by www.goMSBN.com (Business Interventions, Lead Generation and Practice Management) and www.LorinsFAITH.com (Faith-Centric Spiritual and Life Edification.)