OTHERS’ EXPRESSIONS (Words/Conduct/Actions): Be NOT Readily Controlled by Them to Achieve and Shine!
From Chicago, IL… and by Dr. Pete Lorins, a Renaissance man, and Chicagoan by Osmosis (smile)
DISCLOSURE: Capital letters simply denote my writing style… I am not a fanatic of any group or person. I am the type of person who can support someone with whom I disagree on many levels, if such a person’s ultimate work will have contributed to the greater good and do more good than harm. I am as enigmatic as one can get. In one instance, I can play devil’s advocate and defend Bill Cosby and at the other I can defend Donald Trump… WHY NOT? Why follow a herd… it is boring and wrong… what if the herd is wrong. I CANNOT BE BOXED… SORRY!
We live in a World which a lot of people are controlled by PEER PRESSURE or better yet by the expressions (i.e., words, conduct, behavior or actions) of others. In fact, many suffer from low self-esteem because of what their parents or peers had uttered to them in the past. By now, we have all heard incidents of BULLY-ISM, which all have to do with being affected by another human-being’s expressions. People’s expressions are so potent that they have induced others to commit suicide, lose their jobs or conversely have induced others to sue those that misuse words to put others in a negative light (e.g., defamation). In a nutshell, people’s expressions can STING really hard. YET, one must not give them much automatic weight if one truly wants to achieve his/her truest potential.
IF I were to count all the people that told me that I couldn’t achieve certain things, or pass a course, or get a certain position, I’d probably get tired of counting…
FIRST OF ALL – who died and make such NAYSAYING SCMUCKOS God?
Let their words be mere suggestions or potentially-viable advice. Don’t just ignore them, but simply let them go through your own POTENTIAL GARBAGE FILTERING (INFERENCING) SYSTEM. However, Never ever allow either good or bad expressions to automatically affect you or your self-esteem because THE VERY MOMENT you do so, you will have TRADED YOURSELF or SELF-CONTROL for OTHERS’ potentially MEDIOCRE MINDS or MISERIES.
EINSTEIN once said that:
“Great spirits will usually encounter VIOLENT OPPOSITIONS from MEDIOCRE MINDS…”
I have never read a truer assertion. OF COURSE Einstein was a GENIUS, but he is the same man who was COUNTED OUT in Germany and was even called “RETARDED”. In fact, he couldn’t even pass his country’s (Germany’s) national test, yet later, upon emigrating to the States, he was able to outdo and out-think many of his peers and even those who said he was wrong at first had to affirm that his THEORIES (e.g., that of relativity) was SPOT ON.
HOW I STOPPED STUTTERING and BECAME MORE FOCUSED
I was renting an office Space from this Landlord (while working in Naples, FL, at the Collier County Clerk of the Court’s Office as a computer engineer for the clerk and judges) and had just gotten a divorce and used to STUTTER so excessively that communication was filled with others finishing my attempted assertions and admittedly much frustration, which induced me to in turn stutter even more.
ANYHOW – to make a long story short. My office landlord, who was this mid-aged White dude told me the following after telling me how smart he thought I was… and I was saying to myself WOW, he is very impressed by my business skills and intelligence (LOL… see how much I used to care about what others thought of me at that time)…
In a nutshell, he asked me: “DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU STUTTER?”
And to that I answered, “I am clueless… but perhaps it has to do with how my brain and speech pattern are interconnected…" Then again I was still in my 20's and he was probably in his 60's. So I'm sure he had much more life experience (at least people experience) than I did.
HIS ANSWER was seemingly SHOCKING… yet it made a lot of sense.
“YOU STUTTER BECAUSE YOU GIVE TOO MUCH OF A DAMN ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU & CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT THEY MAY THINK OF YOU AND THUS TRY TO PLEASE ALL THE PEOPLE ALL THE TIME, WHICH CAN NEVER TRULY HAPPEN”, the man said. And then he added “I KNOW THAT’S TRUE because I used to stutter like you and now I stuttered NO MORE”.
I was like WOW… at first I doubted him a bit, but then as I thought about it, the connection seemed more and more obvious. And just like that, I stopped Stuttering.
Accordingly, I went from an overly careful and sensitive young man, to a bold and brutally-honest one, who was willing to state my truest opinion and beliefs (even if it were to assure my own detriment).
Just like that I stopped stuttering and went on a rampage to assemble many amazing business ventures and acquire many graduate credentials in engineering, education, law and medicine. I became fearless and poised as others’ expression became merely expressions that more likely than not will be factor into my current vision and thus represent simply potential suggestions.
Thus, if anyone tells you that you can't achieve something or acts as a BARRIER to prevent you from so doing... SAY NOTHING back... TALK TO GOD or THE UNIVERSE and aim yourself 100% at so achieving as nothing will frustrate HIM/HER more than watching you achieve the very things that s/he said you would/could not achieve. I have done it before many times from childhood to adulthood and it is such an EXHILARATING FEELING.
I dare someone tell me that I can't do anything... the latter is actually the best catalyst to get me to do EVERYTHING! But only do it if that's what you truly want to do. Don't do it to give them CONTROL over what you decide to do with your life or career. ONLY DO IT if that's what you truly wanted to do in the first place (smile).
When in doubt, don't get MAD... SMILE... and make the moment a TEACHABLE ONE by scolding such ignorant folks without anger or without losing your self-control.
I hope you have enjoyed this article because it certainly was one of the most enjoyable ones for me to write (smile).
IN A RUSH -
Dr. Pete Lorins is the Chief Editor of LoringPOST.com. This article was sponsored by www.LORINS.biz, a multi-industry consultancy that acts as a provider of services that concern the Management of Law Firms, Medical Clinics, and Businesses...Project Management, Sales, Marketing, & Leads Generation... Research & Engineering... Real Estate/Community/Career Development...