TODAY is MY BIRTHDAY*
SO, TODAY is MY BIRTHDAY*... and don't ask me for my age OK? LOL... but it will be an EMOTIONAL DAY FOR ME (and NOPE it is not because of my age... Geez, some people (smiling)...) my B-DAY is always special because it falls around Thanksgiving Day... in so many ways, I mostly feel appropriately VERY GRATEFUL on my BIRTHDAY and usually like to be ALONE (weird huh?)... it allows me to reflect, smell the flowers and either appreciate my achievements or learn from my past or current setbacks if any...
But BIRTHDAY 2020 is my most special B-day... and ironically, 2020 is MY MOST SPECIAL YEAR... I just feel it... I'm way into my feelings... I admit that I am a CRY BABY like my late FATHER. I always have been and always will be... so go ahead and make fun of me! So, as always, when I am in my feelings I will either write or cry or do both...
But I KID YOU NOT... I know that GOD TRULY LOVES ME... I will never doubt that b/c even in my past trials, I learned priceless life lessons in ways that only GOD could have designed. ANYHOW!
1. You see, all I ever wanted from life has been TO LEARN PASSIONATELY, SHARE knowledge and LOVE , feel SELF-LOVE, MY PARENTS' LOVE, that of my amazing Children, and that of SPECIAL WOMEN that I have had in my life and other VERY LOVED ONES... and as a bonus I have felt the love of people from all walks of life of that of even many that I met online... YUP I have felt it all... and when I wake up in the morning, I feel UNDOUBTEDLY BLESSED. I hope to be at 50% of the blessings that others have been to me, as even that would be amazing for those that I will continue to bless.
2. The day started with the loveliest note from my only son, which truly touched my heart and I couldn't stop crying. You see, the love of my FATHER for me is the first thing I ever experienced in the World. it is a special love... I remember everything... EVERYTHING... and it is the HONOR OF MY LIFE to be PASTOR LORINS' SON. I miss him so MUCH. He placed me in school when I was barely 2 in a country where far too many are illiterate. He carried me on his shoulder in time of storms. He taught me how to read and write at an early age, and had me study ahead... he taught me how to sing my lessons b/c I stuttered too much to recite them... he taught me how to turn my obstacles/shortcomings into strengths. MY THIRST for KNOWLEDGE came from a man with THE BEST MEMORY OF ALL that was stolen my DEMENTIA... a man who is funnier than any man I have ever heard. A MAN who catalyzed my thirst for LIFE LONG LEARNING... a man who made BEING A BLACK MAN SO AMAZINGLY PRECIOUS even during times when others looked down on Black men... YOU SEE, because of my FATHER, I always feel like I have HOME COURT ADVANTAGE and have never felt INFERIOR to any man or woman. So, I'm crying yet again b/c I wish I could share this birthday w/ him... and wish I could tell him how PROUD I am to be his son. And somehow, my love for my Dad is the only gauge I can use to understand my son's love for me... yes, he proves it to me, but trust me nothing compares to the love of a father for a son or that of a son for a father or a father's affirmation or that of a father saying "I am proud of you son, you're my hero". Those words changed my life forever.
As to my MOTHER... I'd have to write a DISSERTATION just on HER LOVE and WISDOM... I am incapable of explaining her life and love at this time... but trust me, she loved me so much that she let me leave her so that I can become myself... the wisdom that she instilled in me even at 11 rivals that of many in their 80's. I miss her telling me what it was like to have me on every BIRTHDAY and how much that GOD will USE ME in the future. I am everything I am because her SISTER (my dearest AUNT MARIE) and she truly loved me.
3. I have already gotten notes from many loved ones and even many from Facebook (lol). And know that I will get more and more from loved ones, acquaintances or even strangers. Thus in case I am too much in my feelings to answer, THANK YOU IN ADVANCE. In so many ways, every good thing I experience in life feels like A BIG BONUS, because I am a MINIMALIST with an undying thirst for TRUE KNOWLEDGE and WISDOM. That's all... I don't require so much to be happy. Relationship wise, I may be complex, but only in the sense that my view of the World is such a MAGNIFICENT ONE that I always feel blessed to be witnessing it all... I am NEVER BORED and I am always excited for the next projects... I have always been like that OBESE KID IN A CANDY STORE having the time of his life no matter what as long as he is LEARNING something new (smile).
4. To my son, besties (especially Elsie, Zettie, ASR, Aldyn, and a few others that I prefer not to name), business partners (especially Reed, Dr. Pelissier, Filton and Patrick) and daughters... no words... you all are the TRUE LOVES OF MY LIFE... THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME THE MEANING OF LOVE... I wish I could explain in words what having you in my life have meant to me especially after losing my PARENTS and only sibling (crying)
5. TO AMERICA thanks for giving a skinny little Black boy whose country had let him down a chance at pursuing LIMITLESS KNOWLEDGE and discovering his truest potentials or helping him become an OVERACHIEVER... I will forever be grateful and loyal as a a NATURALIZED AMERICAN... and to all Americans including those who might not even have even liked me for one reason or another. I LOVE YOU, because without being exposed to you or your humanity I would not have been who I am today (tears).
My tears are tears of JOY... tears of appreciation because despite the chaos surrounding COVID, and social/political unrests, it is impossible for ANY MAN to be HAPPIER or FEEL MORE BLESSED than I am for as of today (TRUST ME), even if GOD had chosen to do NOTHING ELSE FOR ME, God's grace has been sufficient for the rest of my life. So, LAST BUT NOT LEAST... I LOVE YOU FATHER GOD, thank you for not LIMITING ME yet guiding me towards what makes me feel wholesome, stress-free and exhilaratingly fulfilled.
IN A RUSH!
TI SON (Little Son in Haitian Kreyol, a nickname from my full first name that my parents and loved ones used to call me by as a kid)
PS I signed my name like this today b/c today in so many ways, I feel like a HAPPY LITTLE BOY who is just ready to SAVOR all that LIFE has to offer despite losing many loved ones.
* CAPS denote my own writing style... I am not screaming. PETIE'S OUT!